Who could have guessed that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s small, black-and-white indie comic about anthropomorphic crime-fighting turtles that began as a parody of superhero storytelling would not only be around forty years later but also have the love and investment of several generations of fans?
Whether you discovered the Turtles through the toys, the various TV shows, or the movies, audiences have been lucky enough to have at least one defining iteration of these heroes. Alongside Batman and Spider-Man, the Turtles have had the most consistent luck with their onscreen history. And this week, the Heroes in Half-Shells are back on the big screen for the latest reboot, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. To celebrate, The Hollywood Reporter has definitively ranked the theatrical Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies from the most bogus to the most bodacious.
The seventh film on the list is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993). In theory, sending the Turtles back to feudal Japan should’ve at least been fun, even if it didn’t capitalize on using any of the villains established in the comics or the popular cartoon show. But Kurosawa this ain’t. Stuart Gillard’s threequel manages to be an absolute snooze fest, while simultaneously looking like it was made for all $15, despite being significantly more expensive than the 1990 film. The Jim Henson Creature Shop, which worked on the first two films, did not return for this entry, and boy, can you tell. The story revolves around a magic scepter from a flea market that sends the Turtles and April O’Neil (Paige Turco) to 17th-century Japan. Even at 93 minutes, what remained true as a kid, remains true today, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III feels like one of the longest movies ever made. But hey, at least it ends with a dance party and Splinter doing an Elvis impersonation that even Austin Butler would envy. As far as pizza comparisons go, this is straight-up cardboard.
Coming in at number six is TMNT (2007), the first animated feature for the Turtles after a 15-year hiatus from the big screen. While the animation holds up pretty well and there are some highlights, including the rooftop fight between Raph and Leo, narratively there’s very little that’s memorable about it. The emergence of 13 monsters from a parallel dimension brings the Turtles back together, but the film never really settles into a tone. It wants to be both dark and mature, while also falling into juvenile dialogue and plot contrivances. It’s not a bad film, but it’s kind of like gas station pizza.
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Next up is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), the sequel that was preferred by some as kids but falls short upon rewatch. However, as far as a kids’ movie goes, The Secret of the Ooze is a good time and feels closest to the Saturday morning cartoon of the era. Shredder returns, along with the Foot Clan, looking for revenge on the Turtles, and discovers the secret behind their origins – the ooze. The sequel ditches much of the darker tone of the first film but amps up the special effects, introducing genetically mutated snapping turtle and wolf, Tokka and Rahzar. There’s some depth under the film’s shell, such as the Turtles discovering their creation was an accident, but none of the character work lasts too long to get in the way of ninja action or a performance by Vanilla Ice, rapping the film’s iconic Ninja Rap. This one’s a frozen pizza. Ice, ice, baby!
At number four is the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. Produced by Michael Bay and directed by Jonathan Liebesman, this film ushers the Turtles into a new era for a rollicking good time. The film pushes April O’Neil (Megan Fox) front and center as she investigates the Foot Clan and a group of human-sized, crime-fighting turtles who she discovers were created by her father. The film is big, noisy, and sometimes immature, but its visual slickness, cool action scenes, and decent humor make up for a bloated plot. It’s a successful reimagining that might not please everyone but is still enjoyable.
Next is the sequel to the 2014 reboot, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016). Directed by Dave Green, the film continues Michael Bay’s influence with a lot more of everything. It improves on the prior film by adding even more comic book and cartoon lore, including fan-favorite villains and a monstrous alien from another dimension. The film is entertaining and the most action-packed of the franchise. While lacking heart, it’s a worthy sequel for those who enjoyed the first.
The second best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film is none other than the original from 1990. Directed by Steve Barron, this film remains an impressive experiment, blending the comic book and cartoon series to create the perfect blend of tone. It strikes a balance between seriousness and humor, creating a world that feels real and lived in. The simple plot of the Turtles facing off against Shredder and his Foot Clan feels high-stakes, with the Turtles discovering their origins and a commitment to the world and characters. It’s a grounded and successful film that has stood the test of time.
And finally, the most bodacious Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2022). The latest reboot, directed by a new filmmaker, captures the essence of the Turtles while introducing fresh ideas and staying true to the franchise. With a compelling story, dynamic action, and a balance of humor and heart, this film proves that the Turtles are still relevant and beloved for generations to come.
In conclusion, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise has had its ups and downs throughout the years, but its enduring popularity is a testament to the charm and appeal of these pizza-loving crime fighters. From their humble beginnings as a parody comic to their status as multi-media icons, the Turtles continue to capture the imaginations of audiences young and old. As we eagerly await the latest big-screen adventure, let’s remember and celebrate the previous films that have brought joy to millions of fans worldwide. Cowabunga!
